White Wedding
by Pickles the Great
Summary: It's Temari and Shikamaru's wedding day, and, being April first, there's no shortage of surprises. Oh, what a beautiful day for a white wedding. ShikaTema


If you've never read the princess diaries or any sequel thereof this is a completely original idea I made up all by myself. :)

**&**

It had taken four months of planning, two days of preparation, and five and a half years of painfully slow progress to get to this point today. April first (as heavily insisted by both of them), their wedding day.

Needless to say, both Shikamaru and Temari had made the entire event a chore to put together. Temari and Yoshino had literally come to blows during an extremely loud and violent argument concerning the reception, and everyone had lost count of how many "Troublesome"'s Shikamaru uttered when the relatively small guest list expanded to perhaps the entire village, plus Temari's family of course. All the females they had in their acquaintance had squealed and jumped up and down in pure delight when they had told them in passing, "Hey, we're getting married, thought you should know". Soon afterward, their initial plan of a short procedure in the courthouse turned into an extravagant, overly expensive freak show in a large, ornate church. Yoshino, Sakura, Ino, and almost everyone else they knew were outraged at the fact that they simply wanted to be alone and in private when they bound themselves together for the rest of their lives. Shikaku had laughed and muttered under his breath how crazy they were that they thought they could get away with something as sensible as that.

So now, the entirety of Konoha was assembled inside the enormous church house, buzzing excitedly and waiting for the groom and priest to enter. None of them had seen the pair since their activities last night, both warning that they would probably be late and Temari informing them that no one was to see her with her hair down longer than they had to. Everyone had expected for Shikamaru to be running obscenely late, so it was no surprise when the minister walked down the aisle by himself. What did concern Chouji (for he seemed to be the only one who noticed) however, was the small slip of paper the priest held in his hand.

However quiet the clearing of the minister's throat might have been, it was startlingly effective in silencing the entire crowd. Everyone looked expectantly at the old man, waiting on the edge of their seats to hear what he had to say.

"The bride and groom," he began, smiling jubilantly at his well-dressed audience, "have asked me to read this note from them, in their own exact words, before the ceremony began." He chuckled to himself, placing a pair of thick spectacles on his nose as he unfolded the note and began to read.

"_Dear whoever the hell has been invited by now, _

"_I'm sure you're all pretty anxious to see us getting married. Well, the reason we wanted this whole thing to be on April first is this: You've all been screwed."_

An intake of breath and some discontented mutters were exchanged shortly by the guests, quickly muted as they all waited for an explanation.

"_Right now, we're probably already married a hundred miles away, laughing at all of you for ever believing we'd actually go through with a ridiculous wedding like this. We told you we wanted to do it in private, and we did. Right now, that vicious old hag is probably tearing the bench apart with her vampire teeth, furious at this whole little joke of ours. Sorry about that mom, Temari stole my pen. Anyway, we thought we'd let you know and not leave you sitting there waiting for us in vain like idiots. That would just be mean. Love, Nara Shikamaru and Nara Temari._

_P.S since you're all mad at us anyway, Temari's pregnant._

_P.P.S enjoy the food."_

Before raising his head to survey the looks of shock and horror on the faces of his audience, the old priest fished around in the pocket of his robe and pulled out a small, old camera. He squinted his eyes and shifted a bit to try and fit the entire crowd into the frame. Once satisfied, a tiny click came from the camera, accompanied by a flash of light. He smiled and raised himself to full height. "My own little present to the newlyweds."

He took a moment to enjoy the looks on the faces of the people in the crowd. Kankurou looked nothing short of flabbergasted, Gaara's nonexistent eyebrows were well up into his hair, their entire academy class was incapable of speech, and Yoshino looked murderous. Shikaku was trying his best not to chuckle whilst his wife was so furious. After a long silence, Naruto recuperated.

"Hey old dude, they said we could still have the food, right?" He shouted on his feet.

The priest readjusted his glasses and took another look at the letter. "Yes they did." He chirped happily.

"_Sweet._" Naruto jumped the two people between him and the aisle (Hinata and Sakura) and skipped happily out the door.

"That boy is _dead._" Yoshino hissed.

**&**

"So, what do you think they're doing right now?" Temari mused to her husband, flipping a page in the novel she held.

"Hmm. Probably trying to figure out the best way to track us down and kill us." Shikamaru responded absently, stroking his wife's hair. He leant down to press a kiss to her bare stomach, coming back up with a contented smile on his face. Temari grinned. She shifted her weight and laid her head on his shoulder, setting her book aside. After a few moments of silence, minus of course the flurry of crickets chirping outside their window, Temari sat back up slightly and turned to Shikamaru. "Do you think the priest got a picture for us?"

**&**

I heard western-style (white) weddings were big in Japan. So hey, Why not our favorite little couple (and they're canon, dammit.)? And like I said, this is a completely original idea I created entirely on my own. So long as you've never read Princess in the Spotlight. (I think that's the one. Hell, I don't know, there's like eight of them.)


End file.
